can I tell you everything I’ve never said to anyone before?
the minuscule comments,
questions & concerns …
basically what I wonder behind closed doors?
I apologize before hand if this is a bore..
can I share my hopes & dreams?
only 21, but there’s so much I aspired to do, but never quite achieved it seems.
the sensors off
so what I’m giving you is everything unscreened.
striving to get your curiosity to fuck me.. probe my in betweens.
looking for raw penetration to long stroke the most untouched parts of my brain lobes,
but dealing with people these days you never quite get the right dose..
again, I apologize if I’m doing the most, maybe I should turn it down a little?
be a more courteous host?
can I rant on about how every transgressor boast for sympathy?
not that they’d receive any from me..
all respect for Charly, but 75 years for deadly robbery?
homie what were you thinking?
yet our people still screaming
“let my nigga free”
can I admit I’m still dealing with the harsh realities of things unseen?
sheltered from a life I’ve never lived, but you still persuade me to believe?
now can I ask if that’s really so naive?
can I get you acclimated with how my mind is situated?
honestly I used to have thoughts wishing my parents never procreated.
my shamble of a life I was so sure I hated.
in and out of doctors offices,
probably a confession I’ve never stated.
moms with every last bit of strength she had trying to invalidate it … my childhood I mean.
"not always easy growing up pretty, kid" he grunted.
nightmares of remembrance, waking up in hot sweats with hands around my neck..
purposely inflicted wounds,
so can I share the fact that I’ve found my medication sustaining off vegetation, in higher elevation from tree inspired meditation..?
can I ask one last time where the fuck chivalry went & what made all these babies want to have their own kids? living out their moms crib & don’t even pay rent.
can I ask something personal?
how many times have you “sinned”?can I ask you to abdicate from your throne?
come down to my level,
somewhere close to a peasants home.
where do you get off thinking you’re almighty?
making comparisons to kings of Rome?
you’re no god, no deity,
don’t think so highly.
very little divides us; the riches? the respect? the clout?
when you’re gone what exactly does that amount?
this I stress..
think more, speak less.
can I ask one last thing?
can you remain open,
accept what you cannot change,
pass no judgement & welcome the fact that we are all one in the same.
no one wants to be number two
especially when she makes a point for it to be just you..
her temple is for your pleasure
the emotions experienced cannot be measured
& though you may only be her ‘boo’ every word uttered, she thinks is true…
it’s the games that cloud her view … or maybe it’s that nonchalant attitude.
on the inside she screams.
unsettling shrieks of hurt & desire..
just beginning to ignite her fire;
your words strike nerves
like flint against stone creating sparks in her tinder…
yours you hint that one day she may own.
emotions start to spread..
now every feeling’s engulfed in a fiery red.
every sentence spoken fuels the wildfire of her emotion,
like pouring gasoline on her already blackened hopes-and
she only hopes for you and her to finally stop all the joking & to never be broken,
& knowing it’ll never happen pushes her desire close to combustion,
and if she must question the point of your lust then THIS must come to an end…
her loss she takes on the chin. promising that never again will she give in,
unless its with him, cause as the day ends they both know that he’s her favorite place of sin.
not sure what is it..
your rigid body..
that rough touch..
you cursing me..
it should tell me you’re mad, right? no.
its your PASSION..
your passion gripping my heart through my flesh.. embracing it with every caress, every word, every insult..
every bitch, every slut
every kitten, every princess.
alarmed? angry? livid? disrespected? embarrassed? distressed? useless?
safe is what I feel..
what you MAKE me feel…
I throw my head back & rest it against the wall behind us, your hand tightens around my neck…
so much emotion.
aggression.. built up.. traveling right through you..
through blank empty stares, pain filled from scars that never quite fared.
through your tightly clenched jaws & pursed lips, curling.. almost curving upward.. a devious smirk unfolds as you begin to address my fate through your pain & pleasure ridden hate.
your admiration, your respect, your appreciation ..
that’s really what’s written all over your face.
almost breathless, I reach a limp hand up to your embrace, embedding my nails into you.. your eyes catch mine.. red, glazed over, and drunken with scandal ..you can see the way I long for this side of you ..
again, I reach my hand up, grabbing your wrist so tight in hopes that your grip would slightly subside..
“HA” I feel your body boast ..as if my feeble hands could ever harm you.. feeling your veins pulsing from your body within.. fingertips like hot fiery lava you sear your id into my skin, shooting me a disapproving look so disturbing it could awaken my deceased kin.
the look on my face is practically begging of you now ..please, please let my alter be your place of sin.
my mind, my body, my soul is owned by you, tattooed with you. reassurance is never needed with you. you always make me feel wanted.. everything’s always good with you, the way my body’s your outlet is a little unusual, but the intoxication we have with each other is beautiful.
you’d say my perception’s a little skewed, but.. it’s beautiful…
…is it not beautiful?